On Guilt

There are numerous reasons why this may be the most difficult feeling that human beings are ever challenged with or by. The perspective in which we hate ourselves, and that loosely is guilt, should be examined every now and again. Though, being something that we determinately go out of our way to avoid, it somehow finds us—no matter where we go. It’s hard to even imagine a guilt free existence given our culture, history, and morality. Yet, all the same, we go about our days pretending that it doesn’t exist, especially in regards to ourselves.

It’s interesting that we’ve been burdened with the pervasiveness of this feeling since ancient times. One might recall the prophecy that Oedipus was a part of and the fate that he was dealt. Artistically, tragedy stems from guilt, and comedy from embarrassment. There’s something funny about people being out of line or in poor taste. In fact, if taken too seriously, our humor might not be all that comical, but the best we can always do is make light of a situation, right?

In a world of gods and men I am only a man. I am met with perpetual ultimatums, never truly knowing the depths of the waters that lay before me. My freedom: a strikingly ironic problem that never seems to go away unless I give it away. My feeling bad about myself for a variety of reasons comes with the connection of how I should live alongside the juxtaposition of how I am living. However, if you ask how someone is doing, they’re certain to reply, “Same shit, different day.” And in many ways, they’re right. Guilt is why we have routine, and the risk of breaking out of it is one that is heavy, weighted. The consequences of our decisions are never fully lifted, nor are they forgotten by you or everybody else.

In terms of identity, our authenticity is married to this feeling. A life where every decision is owned, and every choice deliberated upon must exist, must be true. If we are to continually make excuses about our decisions, well… then I am not sure exactly how this whole thing we call “society” would function. In other words, you’re taught to be responsible for every damn thing that is relative to your power, and your ownership. Without ever being asked you were made queen or king of a life, judge and jury to all of your decisions, large and small. It’s no wonder our race rests on that of hope.

Strength and weakness are sure signs of this feeling of guilt. Can you take it? Who’s fault was it? Go ahead a point the finger at someone else. Make your existence their problem. I have never heard of anything more selfish than what the others do in terms of an excuse. Power, in many ways, is in the interest of the stronger. Weakness breathes through the resentment of those who do not possess it. And finally, when they are about to be suffocated, the weak blame those who began exercising freedom, power. And the whole topsy turvy show of morality is challenged because some, very few, who were not afraid to express themselves in the face of that hatred became the problem.

Because of the result of this reactionary solution, we waft back into our homes and drift amongst the crowds. However, the fact still remains that we are trying to be great, successful, brilliant and incredible. Remember, we all learned the importance of greatness. Is it still being taught though? And still, in the depths of man and of civilization, we feel bad for those who are less “fortunate” that we are. Many feel guilty because there was something else that could have been done that was never supposed to happen.